Never Grow Up

Just when I thought tonight was a wash...Warren and I had one of "those" conversations that money can't buy.  It all started when we made plans to finally get back to church on Wednesday nights.  Chris called and said he was stuck late at work and probably wouldn't be able to make it.  Plan A down the tubes. 

Being my positive self, "That's ok" I thought.  Instead, "I'll go run after the boys go to bed."  Harper picked the bedtime story, David and Goliath.  I think he enjoys it because he relates well to Goliath.  As I sat in bed reading to them, all seemed to be going well...or so I thought.  After we finished reading, Warren sat trying to explain something to me.  As he sat punching his fists against the bed, it dawned on me, I wasn't understanding what he was explaining.  And while I know he needs to learn to deal with his frustrations and anger, sitting in his pjs, with his clean combed hair, my heart just broke for him.  So, I went ahead and told Harper goodnight.  (And, in typical Harper fashion, so carefree, he went right to bed.)  And Warren and I went to the rocking chair to calm down and talk.  Had I known what our talk would involve, I would've skipped straight to the talk.  (And, if you're keeping track....Plan B down the tubes.  I can run any night.)

After we sat and talked about his frustrations, he started asking me how Daddy knew he wanted to marry me and how I knew I wanted to marry him.  He asked me what a husband was.  "When will I be a husband?"  "But Mommy, where will I live when I'm a husband?"  "Is Pj a husband?"  Then, we got to the "meat" of the conversation, starting with a stream of tears.  Not cute, fake tears.  Sad, honest tears.  "But Mommy, I don't want to wiv somewhere else.  Because, if I wiv somewhere else then I won't have my toy house."  So, after calming him down and assuring him that he was going to "wiv" right here for a very long time (although not too long), I  reassured him that he was not going to "wiv" anywhere else until he was a grown up.    "But Mommy, I don't want to grow up." 

I couldn't help but think of the sweet Taylor Swift song, "Never Grow Up."  All this, the day after a teenager was hit by a bus and innocently taken far too soon from her family.  So, while I didn't get to church like I had hoped...and I didn't get to run like I had hoped...I did get to rock my sweet five year old son, calm his fears and hold him tight.  And that...is priceless!

Never Grow Up audio and lyrics