And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

I am a very structured person.  I like organization...I like a plan....I tend to stay in the box.  (Ok, maybe not "tend to".....I do stay in the box.)  Not too long ago, I picked up the boys from school and Harper jumped in the car with a huge smile on his face!  The first thing he told me (before "Hey mom") was that Mrs. Stone picked him to be one of the Artists of the Week!  His artwork was chosen to go up on the school website!  He could not have been more excited!

Fast forward a week or two when Chris and I received an email from Mrs. Stone, with the subject "Harper's wonderful work of art."  All it said was "He did this just today!"  Then we saw his artwork and were beyond blown away.

Our plan was always that our kids would take piano lessons through 5th grade.  As musicians, Chris and I know how much learning piano benefits any instrument they play.  So, as planned, both boys started piano in 1st grade.  Warren stuck to the plan and took lessons through 5th grade.  As he started playing percussion this year, in middle school band, we decided it would only help him, so he continued to take lessons.  Meanwhile, Harper, who is only in 3rd grade, still had a couple of years to go with piano.  Until the email from Mrs. Stone.  It was that email that made us rethink our plan.  

After much discussion, we sat the boys down and had a family meeting.  Not that he needed a reminder, but we reminded him of our deal to take lessons through 5th grade.  Then told him that if he wanted to stop lessons and focus on percussion, we'd be good with that.  Let's just say there was no discussion needed.

With that, Harper said "So, does that mean I can stop piano lessons too?"  I realized that, while having a plan is a good thing....it's also a good thing to adjust your plan sometimes.  You see, Chris and I lived in a musicians' box and we expected our boys to live inside that same box.  Instead, what if (wait for it), we opened our box.  And, instead of expecting Harper to live in our box...what if we opened our box and tried living in his art box.  So we told Harper that he could stop piano lessons.  His immediate response "So now can I go to ArtCentric?"

ArtCentric is an amazing locally owned children's art studio we learned about from our church.  Each month, they offer fun after school classes for kids.  We signed him up and each week he came home smiling and excited, something we hadn't seen when he was taking piano lessons.  And, not only was he having fun....but slowly, our box was opening as we learned art appreciation.  Harper taught us about different artists and art styles.  Go ahead, ask me about Jackson Pollock?

Isaiah 11:6 says "...and a little child shall lead them."  Surely Harper is leading us....teaching us that sometimes it's good to get out of your box, right?  And even if you stay in your own box, it's good to appreciate the boxes of others!  

Goodbye Lincoln, Hello Lawton

Don't let the sign fool you!  While Warren tried to play it cool with this move to middle school, it was certainly met with his share of tears.  As he said "I've been at Lincoln since Kindergarten."  And though he left the walls of Lincoln, he's moved to the new walls of Lawton, with most of the same friends...which is a huge blessing.  He's made a great group of close friends.

To prepare for the move to middle school, we decided this would be a summer of growing up....he learned to do his own laundry, on his own time.  He learned to make his own lunches and how to use the microwave.  He even went to his first sleepover.

As I drove around before dropping Warren off, I went over a million different things I felt he needed to know for his first sleepover.  What to do if he couldn't fall asleep.  What to do if he woke up before everyone else.  What to do if he got homesick.  What to do if he wet the bed.  And when we pulled into Lincoln's driveway, Warren said "Mom, can you quickly give me a kiss out here before we go inside?"  And, at first, I was sad.  Sad that my boy was at the age where it wasn't cool to give your mom a kiss or hug.  But, I decided to look at it from a different perspective.  Instead of being sad, I decided to be happy that, while it may not be cool anymore, my boy still wants a hug and a kiss from me!

Now that school is in full swing, we couldn't be more excited for Warren and this new chapter.  While the week before school started was filled with lots of anxiety about getting to classes on time, middle school seems to suit him well!  He's playing percussion (with Lincoln) and enjoys hanging out with his friends in the band room before school.  (Brings back such great memories for Chris and me.)  He was also selected for a leadership class, that he has 8th period....and really loves.

Meanwhile, we're all learning how to deal with "middle school meanies."  I had to check Warren out early one day last week for a doctor's appointment to have a wart removed.  The next day, after freezing the wart, it had become much, much larger.  Before school the next day, Warren was talking with a group of "friends" when he accidentally spit on one of the boys while talking.  That boy made a huge deal out of it, exaggerating his wipe and squealing "Ewww, that's so gross!  Great, now I'm gonna catch your wart!  Ewwww!  That's so gross, Warren!"  While my heart broke for him, I couldn't have been more proud of how he handled the situation.  He apologized to the boy for spitting, saying "I'm sorry.  I can't really help that when I talk."  Then he simply said "That's not really how it works.  You can't catch a wart from my spit."  He could have easily "fired something" back to the mean boy, but he didn't.  Instead, he took the high road.  And the next day, he went and found some new friends to sit with.  You really do find out who your real friends are!

So, while middle school is filled with some tough "character building" times...it's also filled with lots of fun, new experiences, like Cotillion.  As Warren started Cotillion this year, Chris and I "braved" the first carpool duty!  And, I just need to give huge props to all the girl moms out there!  While Chris worked with teaching Warren how to tie a tie, these girl moms got to work their way through experiencing panty hose!  And, based on the nervous chatter in the car, I can only imagine what that might've been like.

I'm sure learning to tie ties isn't nearly as exciting as panty hose.  Definitely not as much hilarious conversation....As the girls got in the car, Paige lifted up her skirt to fix her panty hose.  With that, Marin says "....and that's why you need Cotillion!"  That, just after Paige says "Ugh!  Panty hose are so hot!  And they scrunch up!"  To which Marin responds with "Ya, they scrunch up somewhere!"  All this as I look back to see Harper rolling his eyes, cracking up!

Not having navigated this road before, we weren't sure what to expect with middle school.  But I can tell you, we have been pleasantly surprised.  Granted, it's just the third week of school, but already, we have seen a much more confident, relaxed 11-year old.  We've watched some pretty great friends learn to be awkward together.  We're learning to step back and let Warren handle things.  We're learning to trust that we've built a good foundation and laid the groundwork so he's able to handle the tough situations without us....but that he still knows he can come to us at any time!  But most of all, we're learning to enjoy the ride!  Enjoy the moment!        



       

Girls! Girls! Girls!

Sometimes I'm just at a loss of words with Harper.  He is smart, stubborn, hilarious, witty, creative, secretly sensitive, confident, independent and oh-so-strong!  He was invited to a bowling birthday party tonight, for his sweet friend, Riley.  He knew he would be the only boy there....and he was totally fine with that.  It definitely didn't stop him from wanting to go celebrate!

The fun began when we attempted to pick out Riley's gift.  I knew Riley to be very girly and figured she might like something from the store, Justice.  The four of us walked in and clearly looked out of place.  As the store clerk came over to help, I explained the situation and she pointed us to some things.  However, Harper found a super cute outfit that we all thought looked like Riley.  As if watching my "boy family" pick out an outfit for an 8 year old girl wasn't funny enough....friends from church just happened to walk in at the exact moment we were joking about the small size, by holding the pink shorts up to Harper.  My friend, Angela, very calmly said, "Kim, you do know that this is going to require an explanation."   

Meanwhile, when Harper and Chris came home from the party, Harper walked in with a limp.  He immediately laid down on the couch, while Chris got an ice pack.  As he helped Harper get situated, they told Warren and me the story.  

Apparently, Chris was busy getting a couple of bowling balls for Harper and the girls at the same time Harper (who had already taken his shoes off) was busy getting his own bowling ball.  Harper dropped his bowling ball on his toe and, because Chris was at the other end of the building looking for bowling balls, he had no idea what happened.  So when he made his way back to Harper, he found him sitting down, by himself, crying hysterically.  After Chris settled him down, super strong Harp decided to "man up" (as his friend Riley tells him) and bowl with his friends.  

After we took his sock off, we found his big toe very much black and blue; I'm quite certain his big toenail is dead.  But I can tell you, had I not seen his toe, I would've had no idea anything was wrong.  Not one peep, not one complaint, not one tear.  In fact, even in his pain, he still kept us in stitches with his jokes, like: 

Q:  What do you call a donkey who doesn't know his name?

A:  Stupid.  

We helped him get a shower and tucked him in to bed...but not before he told me about the rest of the party.  (So, while Harper knew he would be the only boy...what he did not know was that there were going to be 20-ish people girls there.)  The only thing he had to say was "Mom!  I only went to the bathroom two times during the party.  That's all.  But those girls had to go at least five times!  And, they didn't go once by themselves.  At least five of them had to go at the same time....every time!"  Sounds about right!    

Flowers Don't Bloom....

They say flowers don't bloom without a little rain.  So, bring on the rain!

This summer, we've been preparing Warren for his first summer in the middle school camp at the Warren W. Willis Camp.  While he's been going to the camp for two years, he has always been with the elementary kids; this was our first "middle school" experience.  He had a blast the past two years...always immediately talking about the next year.  He was even more excited when we "roped" his school friend, Lincoln, into going this summer, too.

As camp neared, his excitement was met with lots of nerves, resulting in several nights of tears.  He was excited about going, but sad to leave us for the week.  Meanwhile, Harper was scheduled to start a LEGO Art Camp on Monday....so he would not be going with us to drop Warren off, like he had in years past.  That definitely played into Warren's nerves a bit.  But, we assured Warren that he would be just fine and once he got there, he would have a great time.

Our camp tradition has been that we stop at Fred's for lunch, before heading to Leesburg.  But since Harp was going to art camp, we decided to get up early and go for breakfast, before taking Harper.  When we got to Art Centric, Warren bravely held his tears back as he told Harper good bye.  (To clarify....he held his tears back long enough to get back to the car...at which point he unleashed!)

It was pouring when we got to camp, so check-in was a bit delayed.  When we finally got up to the check-in table, one of Warren's favorite counselors, Artemis (who happened to remember Warren's name....which made him feel super cool) told him that he was going to be in North Boys this week.  (While that meant nothing to me, for Chris and others who had experience with camp....it was pretty exciting.)  When a break in the rain came, we took off and rain out to North Boys.  Apparently, North Boys is one of the old, old cabins.  They've added a window unit for AC, but there are no bathrooms.  So, after we got his bunk ready....we rain over to the outhouse to check out where showers and bathroom would be.  Then, we made sure he was settled and said our goodbyes.

Though he did miss his big brother, I'd be lying if I said Harper didn't enjoy his week being a single child.  He had a blast at his LEGO camp, but did miss not having Warren around to play with in the pool.  So, as Saturday approached, we were all getting excited to head back and pick him up, though we were not looking forward to waking up so early.  (Because check-out starts around 8:30, we were planning to wake up at 6:30am to get on the road by 7am.)

But, God works in mysterious ways.  At 6:59pm, Friday, we got a phone call from an unknown number in Leesburg.  Normally, since I don't ever talk on the phone, I wouldn't answer it, but since it was Leesburg, I decided I probably should.  On the other end of the line was Nurse Karen, calling to tell me that Warren had been puking all day and we probably needed to come get him.  On the plus side, she said, he was in the Health Center with a friend of his from school.  (It's all in perspective.  While this was a plus for Warren, this was Lincoln's first experience at camp....not sure that would count as a plus for him.)

So, we quickly piled in the car (literally pulling Harper off the toilet), took off and made it to Leesburg in about an hour.  When we arrived at camp, they brought Warren out and he just fell into my arms in tears.  He looked weak and defeated and through his tears said "I just want to go home."  When we asked what was wrong, other than puking, he said he had a horrible week.  He shared some of the details of the week, telling us that some of the other middle school boys were pranking other cabins, some were turning off the lights in the outhouse, and lots were cussing.  Not only were we disappointed in the week, we were embarrassed for Lincoln's family.....first timers at camp!  We talked with Gwen and Ray (Lincoln's parents) who were also there, picking up Lincoln...and apologized for what seemed like a really rough week.  Gwen said perhaps there is a blessing among the week, that we just can't see yet.  What if God was using this week to prepare our very naive boys for what they may experience in middle school?  Perspective.  I hadn't considered that.

Our boys never hear curse words.  Those words just don't even slip out at our house, so it really bothers them when they do hear them.  They don't like it when people are treated meanly.  So, what if this week was meant to start preparing them, while still in a safe environment, for the road ahead.  Perspective.

And while the week seemed to be less than stellar, from what we are used too....it still provided an amazing place for Warren's faith journey.  On the way home, in between the "rough week" stories, Warren shared with us that he had found a Bible verse he really liked.  He couldn't remember it, but was excited to share it with us.  Chris and I both smiled, nodded and left it at that.

The next morning, Warren and I were the only two awake.  As we sat on the couch, we snuggled under a blanket and read his Bible......all his idea!  He wanted to find his new verse, Psalm 9:1-4:

"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
     I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
     I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.

My enemies turn back;
     they stumble and perish before you.
For you have upheld my right and my cause,
     sitting enthroned as the righteous judge."

And after we found it, he asked about my favorite verse, which I shared, 1 John 4:4:  "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."  Then he wanted to look up the verse of his favorite baseball player, Ryan Yarbrough, Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."  So, we sat, reading his Bible.

After the rest of the house woke up, we all got dressed and in the car to run some errands.  Warren asked if we could listen to "Reckless Love".  I had heard the song many, many times before, but never really cared for it.  As we listened, he shared that they played it at camp a lot and he would cry every time he heard it.  Then, even went so far as to say this was his new favorite Christian song.  (I didn't realize he had an old favorite Christian song.)

So, while Warren didn't feel like he had a great week at camp...I'm convinced that he did...he just doesn't realize it.  Perspective.  After all, flowers don't bloom without a little rain, right?

Awards Time

It's that time of year again.  Awards time.  The time of year when we run back and forth between the boys' school and our work, in hopes of a) securing a good parking spot and b) making it in time to get a good seat.  It's the time of year when we try to act surprised by the awards the boys have been telling us about all year.  But sadly, with all the technology we have now (yes, I realize I sound like my grandmother), it's hard to be surprised by much of it anymore.  

Harper worked very hard to earn his AR medallion for meeting the second grade, 60 point goal.  So, we easily checked his record online to see he had met that goal!  He also worked hard to earn straight A's all year.  And yup, we quickly hopped online to check his grades and saw he met that goal as well!  And sure enough, as we sat through Harper's awards, we watched him proudly wear his new AR medallion around his neck as he walked up to receive his trophy for maintaining straight A's all year.  While we were equally proud of his SMAD, Skip Counting and Attendance Awards....his personal goals were for AR and straight As.  So you can only imagine we celebrated with him!

But nothing could've prepared us for Warren's awards assembly, his last awards program of elementary school.  Like Harper, we checked his AR and were already aware that he would not receive his AR medallion.  We checked his grades and knew he would not receive his trophy for straight A.  As motivation has been a struggle for Warren this year, we were prepared for those things.  And because they were participation awards, we were prepared, but proud to hear his name called for a PE award, as a Hollen Helper and as the only Lincoln representative in All County Orff Choir.  And while we weren't expecting an Attendance Award...or an award for an overall straight A average, we certainly could've hopped online to check those as well.

After all of the participation and "prepared" awards, came the one surprise award we were completely unaware of and totally not expecting.  Warren's name was called, along with only 6-8 other names, as being a "Student Leader".  Consequently, we weren't even "camera ready" since we never expected to hear his name.

Teachers and school staff are in a hard spot with awards, for sure.  Does every kid get an award?  While I don't support that idea, I have seen the repercussions from the other side.  You have hard working parents, who take time off of their jobs to be at their child's awards assembly, only to see him/her not earn one darn thing.  So, while I understand trying to celebrate things with every child, it definitely seems to make those awards "less special."  So, if we were to have picked only one award for Warren to win, it would've been the Student Leader Award, because that speaks to his character...to the kind of young man we are trying to raise and to the kind of person God has called him to be.

I'm pretty sure you are never really ready to send your child to middle school, but this little "boost" reassures us of Philippians 1:6:  "Be confident of this: He who has begun a good work in you, will complete it."  

Be Like Daddy

Like most families, when our boys go to bed, they go to bed early not for themselves....but for us!  We need the time to chill out and relax....or we need that time to work on one of the million projects we find ourselves in....or we need that time to just get the house back in order.  Whatever the reason....we need that time.  That is....until our boys need that time. 

Last night, when I put Harper to bed, he asked (as he does most nights) if I would lay with him.  And, like I do most nights, I replied "I will for just a few minutes."  From there, our conversation went something like this:

Harp:  "You really need to be more like Dad when it comes to this."

Me:  "I do?  Why?  What do you mean?"

Harp:  "Because Daddy usually just lays with me and falls asleep."  

Me (trying not to get angry.....because it's during those "fall asleep times" that I'm working in the house, wondering why he hasn't come out to help):  "Oh, ya, does he?  But why do I need to?"

Harp:  "Because I like you to lay with me."

Me:  "But why?"

Harp:  "Because I just like to be with my family."

And with that, he turned over and snuggled in to me.  Guess where I fell asleep?  

The Dreaded Dress Uniform

At the boys' school, every Monday is designated as a "Dress Uniform" day, where the boys have to wear very thick, navy blue pants and a very thick, oxford shirt.  While I've obviously never worn it, the uniform seems incredibly uncomfortable.  Add to that the Florida heat and it's enough to make even the parents a little craz(ier).  So, when Warren had his last dress uniform day....it was met with both excitement and anger.  Warren was understandably beyond excited; Harper.....not so much, as it was only the last dress uniform day for 5th graders, not Kindergarten through 4th grade.

After the last dress uniform day, Warren was able to donate his dress uniform to the school "repeat" shop in exchange for a NUT (No Uniform Today) pass, which meant he wouldn't have to wear a school uniform at all that following Monday.

Meanwhile, the school hosted a Chick-Fil-A spirit night that Friday.  And on Monday, those students who brought in the receipt from the spirit night were able to get out of the dress uniform and at least wear uniform shorts and a comfortable, dry fit spirit shirt.  However, if you didn't make it to the spirit night, you had to wear your dress uniform.

Because the 5th graders were done with their dress uniforms, there was a bit of confusion among the "first time 5th grade moms" as to what that meant for the rest of the grade levels.  So, I texted one of the teachers, who happens to be a personal friend (and will remain nameless, unless she moves out of teaching Kindergarten, where she was when she taught Harper) and asked her if the other students were supposed to still wear dress uniforms.  She replied "Technically they are, but didn't you go to Chick-Fil-A?😉"  Ahhh, brilliant!

So, I went to Harper, saying "Good news buddy!  Friday night was Chick-Fil-A Spirit Night, so you can wear your shorts and spirit shirt."  He just looked at me with this completely appalled and a bit disappointed face.  Then my 8 year old put me in my place.  He said "But mom, we didn't go to Chick-Fil-A.  And I just don't feel good about doing that."  You can only imagine the thud I heard as my heart hit the floor!

(And I won't go on to tell you that "said Kindergarten teacher" then went on to tell me I should convince Harper that she had an extra receipt he could borrow.....because some might think that's unethical.  I see it as "that's how much these Lincoln teachers love our kids!")

So, here is Warren on his last day in his dress uniform.  And here is my honest little man, one week later....while Warren was in his NUT pass and most other kids were in their comfy spirit shirts and shorts....Harp wore his uniform, one more time!

Confidence

I love music.  I love how music can make you feel.  I love how a song can hit you at just the right time!  Those who know me well, know how powerful music is to me.  Songs speak to me.....they provide me comfort and peace.  Thursday was no exception.

This year, I have been working through our school district's Aspiring Leaders program.  After successful completion of the program, applicants are then considered qualified to apply and interview for Assistant Principal positions.  It's been a long road, but last week, I completed and passed the written interview and was notified my oral panel interview would take place Thursday, April 26th at 4pm.

I was beyond nervous.....like "throw up" nervous.  I spent most of my evenings studying and preparing the sample questions we had been given.  I worried about who would be in the interview, hoping and praying it wouldn't be people I knew....because that's always awkward.  I knew ahead of time that I would have at least one regional director in the interview, but I didn't know who.  Of course I worried about who that would be and just hoped for one in particular.  I took a half day just so I could chill out, calm down and mentally prepare.

As I showered and got dressed Thursday, I repeated the same prayer.  I asked God to calm my fears, and give me the right words, but above all, I prayed that he would give me peace.  Peace that comes from knowing the journey would end exactly as it's supposed to.

I got in the car and began to drive away, but not before I turned on my radio to Joy FM.  My boys will tell you that Joy FM is all I listen to.  And I will admit, a lot of times they play the same songs over and over.  I should've known Thursday would've been different.  When I turned on the radio, I heard a new song....one I had never heard before.  And I can honestly say I've never really "heard" God speak to me......but Thursday, I truly believe He spoke to me through this new song that "just happened" to come on as I started my car.  The song is called Confidence, by Sanctus Real and the verse goes like this:

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense

So I can face my giants with confidence.

As I listened to the song and took some deep breaths, a calmness came over me as I literally drove off in tears....confident!  When I arrived at the interview, I checked in and sat down to wait.  I was about 15 minutes early, so I was surprised when I heard my name called shorty after.  But I was even more surprised when I looked up to see the one regional director I was hoping for!  Familiar smiles bring such comfort!

After the 5 panelists introduced themselves, we started the interview.  Shortly after we began, the door behind me opened and a sixth panelist walked in.  Because my back was to the door, I couldn't see who was coming in....but you can imagine the nerves welling back up.  As I turned around, I was greeted by yet another familiar smile!  My best friend (of over 20+ years)'s brother!  The three of us spent a lot of time together in college and when I saw his big smile, I was, again, comforted as it took me right back to those days.

I felt good as I left the interview...I felt confident.  I was proud of myself for "facing my giants" and I was confident that whatever the results were...I would end up right where I would need to be.  Oh, and get this.....in an interview (just to be clear......for a public school assistant principal), I was asked the perfect question which allowed me an opportunity to share about my role as a servant leader...within my church!  Coincidence?  


*And just in case you're curious how the story ends....I passed my oral interview, so as they say "I'm swimming in the AP pool!"  

Let's Get Em

Anyone who knows Harper, knows he is a funny kid.  He's smart and tough.  He's independent and, like his mother, not incredibly compassionate.  But, tonight I saw a completely different side of Harp.  While I love my job most days, others can be trying.  I deal with a lot of different personalities and like any workplace, not everyone gets along.  Most days, I get to be a cheerleader for our teachers as I find ways to support them.  Some days, I feel like a psychiatrist.  Others, I feel like the mother of 65 little children.  But, the last week or so, I've felt like a little kid being pushed around on the playground.  Tonight at dinner, I was telling my family about this particular situation.  I told them I felt like I was being bullied by another teacher.  And without missing a beat, Harper rolled up the sleeves of his jacket and with a sweet look in his eye, he looked across the table to Warren and said "Do we need to beat em up for you, mommy?  Let's get em Warwen."  I quickly pictured my life 10 years from now.  This same little boy.....10 years older.  He has my back now...I have no doubt he'll have my back then.