Christmas Magic (an Update)

For some reason, Christmas night hits my boys hard.  I don't know there they get it from?  <insert sarcastic shrug>

You may remember that Christmas night, exactly one year ago, I wrote a very dramatic, heartfelt post about Warren learning about the magic of Christmas.  A couple of nights ago, I wrote about the "different" feel of Christmas this year.  Today, I write as an update on both.

Christmas night, with overly full bellies and a wrecked house, we winded down for the night.  As I went in to kiss Harper goodnight, he turned away from me and began to cry.  When I asked him what was wrong, he said "I don't know, mom.  It just doesn't feel like Christmas."  Chris came in to tell him goodnight, saw what was going on and gave me "the look".  The look of "Is this it?  Is it time?"  He mouthed to me "Do you want me to stay?"  I confidently nodded my head no....for I had done this before.....I had it in the bag!  He kissed Harper goodnight, turned off the light and left us to talk.

I told Harper about how Christmas felt different to me too, this year.  In fact, I told him that Christmas Eve, as they were asleep and Chris went to take his shower, I sat and cried by the tree, because it felt so different and I wasn't sure why.  But that was ok.  I told him that it kind of made me sad that neither of them wrote a letter to Santa this year....and with that, he said through his tears, "Mom, that's because he's not real.  I know he's not real.  Why would you and Dad lie to us all these years?"  And with that, I realized that this was going to be a much different conversation than it was with Warren, last year. 

I showed Harper the same letter I showed Warren last year.  And, after reading it, he asked me again, "But how could you lie to us?  You told us there was a fat man in a red suit, who came down our chimney every year and left us presents.  You told us about the elves who came down to watch and then flew back up to Santa every night to let him know if we were being good.  You told us about the reindeer that ate the reindeer food we left on the grass every year.  How could you lie about all of that?"  UGH!  

<insert stomach punch>

I sucked up my tears and realized I needed to "buck up" and look this conversation dead on.  I told him how when kids are little, they get rewarded with a sticker or a piece of candy when they do something good.....but as we grow up, we don't get those same kinds of rewards, because teens and adults don't need them anymore.  Just the same, when kids are little, they need to see something in order to believe in it.  But as we grow older, teens and adults don't have the same need to see something to believe in it.  Thus became the legend of Santa Claus hundreds and hundreds of years ago.  Santa is about bringing goodness, kindness and joy.  And, as adults and teenagers, we can believe in those things even without seeing the big man in the red suit.  Just the same is our belief in God.  We can believe in Jesus Christ and God, even without seeing them.  

Though I'm still not convinced he is "ok" with the lie, I do (at least) think he understands the why.  And to my surprise, when I asked him when he figured it out, he told me last school year.  My jaw dropped.  "What?  You've known all this time?  How did you figure it out?"  He replied, "My teacher told our class second semester."  How unfortunate for those students.  While I realize both of my boys learned the truth about Santa a bit late in life, as an educator myself, I don't believe it is ever my job to share that with my students.  That's a family decision.  I'm disappointed in the teacher, but grateful for the conversation that came because of it.  

I told Harper about Warren's experience last year....how we went and played video games for hours to take our minds off of the sadness that comes with finding out the truth.  So, we decided, rather than video games, we'd go pull an all nighter and binge watch Wednesday, a show we started together a couple days earlier.  We grabbed a couple of cookies (because chocolate always helps) and snuggled in! 

So, yes, our Christmas was different this year.  And we're learning that that's ok.  That's part of growing up...for all of us.  Chris and I are learning how to grow up in this process too.  And now, rather than the Santa magic (and let's be real.....the stress), we have a lot of new Christmas magic to look forward to next year, together.  And for that, I'm grateful!  

At Least We Still Have Karen

A good friend, while fighting her own battles, recently told me, "Traditions don't have to happen every year."  Although they were words told to her, they were words I needed to hear as well.  

This has been a year of change for us.  The boys are at an age where things are just different.  Trace Adkins has a song called "You're Gonna Miss This."  Chris and I joke around about that song and sing it regularly to one another when the boys frustrate or annoy us.  For we know that one day, in the not too far off future, we'll wish for those frustrating, annoying things. 

So this year, I've spent time reflecting on what traditions are coming to an end and what traditions might just be paused this year.       

You may remember that last year, Warren learned the Santa story.  (As our youth director so matter-of-factly put it, "You had the sex talk before you had the Santa talk?"  I had never thought of it that way, but yes, yes, I guess we did.)  And, although we haven't talked about it and it hasn't been anything dramatic (like Warren), we're pretty sure Harper knows, as this year has been very different.  Not necessarily bad-different.  Just different.  This is the first year the boys haven't asked about our elf, Drake.  Not one single question about him.  He did come, but he's sat in the same place all month.  (Which, if I'm honest, has been really nice!)  This is the first year the boys didn't write a letter to Santa.  This is the first year we haven't had an Advent Calendar.  So many traditions that didn't happen this year....and ones we'll probably have to let go of now.   

But, in the midst of letting go of great traditions, we've been able to hold on to others.  We have listened to so much great Christmas music...music that fills our house every year (sometimes starting as early as November).  From Amy Grant to Mariah Carey, Pentatonix to Karen Carpenter.  In our home, like many, Karen Carpenter signals the Christmas season.  The Carpenters Christmas album is one we have on repeat, as it reminds us of our own childhoods.  Chris and I both have such great memories listening to the Carpenters Christmas!  

We rung the bell for the Salvation Army.  I once heard our Missions Director say that "Mission work isn't supposed to be convenient."  I think about his words as we drag the boys every year.  That's a tradition the boys would probably like to let go of.  But I'm going to hang on and inconvenience them for as long as I can.  

We had our annual baking day.  Mom and I baked all the things while Harriet and the boys made gingerbread houses.  Then, we got back together that evening for dinner and Christmas lights.....and invited Emily, our youth director.  Although the lights were kinda blah, it was a great evening of tradition.  

And, on a different note, and at the risk of starting a new tradition....or maybe just passing the baton.....this was the first year Warren was able to drive by himself.  He took and passed his road test just before our baking day, which meant he was able to drive and grab everyone's lunch.  (Traditionally, a role my grandfather filled.....before Chris took over.)  Although mom and I followed closely behind and he did great.....the nerves were still very real!  When we got back home, Harriet asked, "Warren, how did it go?  Were you nervous?' to which Warren replied, "Well, ya know, I had Karen Carpenter playing, so I knew I was ok."  

Isn't it funny how comforting traditions are?  Just as our traditional Christmas music comforted Warren, it provides me the same comfort in the midst of this "tradition chaos."  I guess that's what traditions do....they provide us comfort (albeit a bit of stress, too).  So, although we've let go of some of our traditions...at least we still have Karen.  

5:1

Several years ago, I heard about a really great theory that suggests that kids benefit from having 5 adults invest in them.  This 5:1 ratio says "...the main idea is that kids greatly benefit from having five adults other than their parents invested in their lives. Five adults that know their story, understand their hearts, act as cheerleaders, and can be confidants. Kids who have that are more likely to feel a sense of belonging and adhere to the positive values parents want to instill. Turns out the research suggests, kids that have adults investing in them are more likely to keep their faith in late-adolescence and early adulthood."   

When I heard that, I thought....ok, get yourself a community! 

Our boys are very busy.  They're involved in a lot of things.  From Musical Theater....to Cotillion.....to Art Centric and Connect Youth Group.....to Young Life and WyldLife.  We are always running in a million directions and literally taking it day by day.  And, when they first got to "this age", I initially involved them in so many things to a) keep them out of trouble and b) offer them different experiences.  But, after Harper's recent bullying experience....I was reminded of the 5:1 theory and realize that the bigger reason to involve your kids in a lot of different things is for community. 

As soon as Harp's community found out what happened to him, they poured into him.  Three of his close teachers, who we love, reached out immediately.  His youth directors offered to come over and hang out with him...and even checked in two days later.  His WyldLife leaders reached out.  Then his Art Centric family invited him to the "All Staff" Bob Ross Birthday Party!  Only 2 volunteers were invited....and Harp was one of them.  Imagine how he felt!  Harp felt loved and valued, because Ms. Becky, Ms. Zariah, Emily, Megan, Sydney, Romeo, Mr. Jones, Mrs. LaVelle, Mrs. Butler and everyone else in his community poured into him!  So, while the theory might suggest 5:1....our theory suggests "the more, the merrier"!  

 

Words Matter

During our morning announcements, my principal tells our staff and students daily, "Words matter.  They absolutely do matter."  Yesterday, Harper came home in tears....and let me tell you.  Words DO matter!  

In his first period class, as his table worked on a poster, Harp said to another student, "Hey, can I see your sun?"  The kid responded "Ha.  Ya, sure, as soon as you lose 50 pounds!"  Then a second kid chimed in and said "Harper, you look like a girl.  Just a really big one!"  

Enough is enough, right?  How do you recover from that?  How does a kid pick up and move on?    

I wish I could tell you that the negative words ended there.  But, when Harp went to lunch, a kid said "Hey, can I have your biscuit?  Ha!  Nevermind, I KNOW you're gonna eat it."  

What about now?  Had enough?  I wish.  

Harp then went to PE, where they were getting ready to play flag football when a kid yelled out "Make sure you leave the big waisted one for Harp!  He needs it!" 

I told him I was going to email the school and he immediately said "No mom.  Then I become the "snitch".  I'd rather just deal with it."  But, no kid no one should have to deal with that.  So, I did email a handful of his teachers and principal, all who I trust completely because (as his Creative Writing teachers responded)..."we can't stop it from happening, if we don't know who's doing it."  

I have always believed Harper will be a silent leader.  He is a quiet change maker.  And maybe this will start the change that needs to happen, but as a mom, listening as your kid tells you this...it is literally heartbreaking.  Especially knowing how hard Harp has been working to improve his health and his physique.  He's working out (hard) twice a week and running three times a week.  He's becoming a beast and I am so super proud of him.  So when kids say mean things like this....it just breaks your heart. 

Chris was out of town and Warren was assisting at Cotillion, so I decided Harp and I would have a "pick me up night".  I gave him the night off of "having" to go to Cotillion.  We ran and picked up Chick-Fil-A and came home and watched Outer Banks (one of our favorite shows).  When I told our Cotillion carpool buddy, Conner, about what happened and why he wouldn't be in the carpool, he immediately asked if he could stop by on the way home with DQ!  What a pick me up!    

I saw a cute video today, where a little Asian boy kept falling asleep.  But the boy next to him rested his head on his shoulder so it wouldn't keep bobbing.  The video ended with "Kindness is natural.  Hatred is taught."  I can't help but think of what kinds of homes these boys come from, where they have learned such hatred.    

As Harper went to bed, I laid with him and we talked about how "sucky" some people can be.  We talked about what they must be going through to have such hatred in their hearts.  But then we talked about....even in that hatred, and even though it's super hard...it's important to not let that overshadow the kindness.  The DQ drop offs!  Harper has a handful of really great friends.  We talked about how it's not important to have a lot of friends, but it's important to have really true friends.  

And bless his heart, he woke up today, got dressed and even decided not to wear his hoodie today.  (He wears a hoodie every day....I'm sure as a means of defense....to hide.)  I'm praying for a good day, filled with people who understand that "words matter!"    

Update: Fall Dance

Well, while things don't always go as planned, they always go according to a greater plan! When I was a teenager in youth group at First Presbyterian, at the end of confirmation, our youth pastor (Tim Rice, at the time) "presented us" with an individual scripture that he picked for each of us. Mine was 1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." Since that day, this verse has been my favorite.  It is my "go to" verse any time the road in front of me seems bumpy.  

Last night was the Harrison Fall Dance and Warren's first "date".  He was so excited, so nervous.  We all were!  We met up with Brooke, her family, and the other two "kids" at Florida Southern for pictures.  While the introductions were easy, the rest of the time was awkward.  When we walked to the "photo spot", Warren was greeted by a big cheer from the senior Musical Theatre kids.  We got a few pictures and then Warren presented Brooke's corsage to her.  Watching them fumble through, was adorably perfect.  These two both seemed equally naive, which made the whole experience even more fun (for us).  Luckily, we were all able to laugh about it.

Chris and I then dropped them all off at the dance and headed to dinner....to nervously kill time for the next 2.5 hours. But, about 2 hours in, I got a text from Warren that said he just wanted to go home.  As it turns out, apparently this "little date" was a big deal to their group of friends, and all eyes were on them, as they put the pressure on Warren to "make his move" and hold her hand before the night was over....which Warren was not yet comfortable with.  And while he kept telling his friends to stop, because he "didn't like her like that"....that didn't seem to be good enough to stop his friends.  So, unfortunately, he was too uncomfortable to be around her too much.  After the dance, we picked the kids up and took them to get ice cream....which seemed to be much more enjoyable, but as soon as we dropped Brooke off....the floodgates opened and Warren just sat in the car, bawling.  

Their night most definitely didn't go as they planned, but we trust that it is all a part of the plan.  And while our hearts broke last night, with theirs, Chris and I are so proud of Warren.  After meeting her, we are super proud of his taste in character.  We are proud that he knows what he is and isn't comfortable with, though he still has a ways to go in learning act within those boundaries.  And, we are beyond proud that he stood his ground.  He "overcame them, because the one who is in Warren is greater than the one who is in the world."    

Listen Earnestly to the Little Things

If there is one thing I could tell parents with young children, it's "Listen earnestly to the little things."  In fact, I'm fairly certain I've written about it already.  As my boys grow up, I have been incredibly intentional about always, always "listening earnestly to the little things."  Notice the emphasis on earnestly.  

When they have things to tell me, nothing is more important at that moment.  I stop what I'm doing.  I put my phone down.  I make eye contact and I listen.  I listen earnestly.

It's something I've done since they were little, when they had to tell me about the roach on the bathroom floor.  Or the time when they had to tell me that Bryan was picking his nose on the carpet.  Now, that listening earnestly is paying off, because now they are starting to tell me "the big stuff."    

When I picked Warren up from school Thursday, he jumped in the car and I immediately started to share something exciting about my day.  He interrupted me and said "ok, mom, but when you're finished, I need to talk to you about something kind of big.  Not bad.  But kind of big."  So, I quickly wrapped up my story and let him share.  He had a huge smile, then covered his face with his hands and in one breath said "So, this is really awkward and embarrassing, mom.  Like, I don't know how you and dad feel about dating and all that stuff.  But, there's this girl that I'm kind of interested in and I think she might be interested in me, too.  And I think I'd like to ask her to go to the Fall Dance with me."  (It's a good thing his hands were covering his face, because I'm 100% sure after I picked up my jaw off the floor, I had a smile bigger than his.....but I had to "play it cool.")  I told him I would really need some time to digest this, because a) I didn't know the girl or her family and b) I had no clue how this stuff works....yet.  But, I also told him that I trusted his judgement...to which he replied, "Mom, she's a good girl. You would definitely approve of her."   

So, the rest of the car ride home we talked about what "kids these days" do to ask someone to Homecoming (Harrison doesn't technically have a Homecoming dance, but the Fall Dance is their version.)  He didn't want to do anything huge that drew a lot of attention to it, but he still wanted to let her know that he put some thought into it.  

When we got home, we completely dropped the subject, because Harper was home and....well, you can imagine the teasing that would come along with that.  So, that gave me a chance to first text Chris and let him know how our world was getting ready to change.  Followed by texts to my best friend and one of the Harrison teachers, also a dear friend of mine....asking her "What the heck do we do?"  

Meanwhile, Warren got a phone call from his best friend, who wanted to brainstorm ideas with him.  So Warren went on the back patio (where Harper couldn't hear) and he and his bestie talked through all kinds of ideas.  We all finally agreed that the best route would be a small gift, with a card.  With a bit of research, Warren found out her favorite candies and we made a quick trip to Walgreens to get M-n-Ms, Kit Kats and Sour Patch Kids....only to find out, once we got home, that he read the list wrong and it was, instead Tic Taks (not Kit Kats).  So, one more quick trip to Walgreens and he was ready.  He included a card that read "It would be really 'sweet' if you would go to the fall dance with me."  

The fear of rejection is real.  So that no one would know, he carefully tucked it inside his backpack, with hopes of catching her at her locker to ask.  I sent him off to school and asked that he just text me something to let me know how it went.  

Because Harper and Chris were heading off on a youth retreat, we were meeting at the church and Warren was to walk there, after rehearsal.  Finally, at 4:44pm, I received the text!

Shortly after, he and Luami (his best friend, who brainstormed ideas with him the night before) walked up, with Luami yelling "SHE SAID YES!  SHE SAID YES!" (I wish you could have seen Harper's eyes, in that moment!)  

As it turns out, Brooke is the Jane to Warren's Michael in their Harrison production of Mary Poppins.  And, little did I know, until I connected with Brooke's mom (which I did quickly Friday night), that apparently the department had been silently cheering them on.  So, although Warren had hoped to ask Brooke privately, that was not an option....as seen in the video footage that she sent me.  (You'll have to watch quickly, because it's just short of a "hit and run".)    

Nonetheless, I am proud of the kids he has chosen to surround himself with.  I'm proud of the ones he lets into his circle and considers friends.  I love the support they offer one another.  And so far, I'm proud of the type of girl he seems to be interested in.  I'm excited that he's starting to experience "all the things" and I'm so grateful that we have a relationship where he talks to me about it all.  I'm 100% glad I made a point (years ago) to "Listen earnestly to the little things"......because it's time for the big things!  

Today's Hero

New addition to our decor

That smile.....

Today, this kid is my hero. On top of severe environmental allergies and eczema, requiring double allergy shots every 3 weeks.....a sinus surgery a year ago......Harper was diagnosed with something called Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EOE). EOE is a chronic disorder of the digestive system in which large numbers of a particular type of white blood cells (called eosinophils) are present in the esophagus. For Harper, it results in certain foods getting stuck in his esophagus. As a result, those who know him, know that he's had too many endoscopies to count. For the past couple of years, he's been on a regiment of Omeprazole and Flovent (a steroid inhaler). However, the FDA just approved a medication called Dupixent for children over 12, to treat EOE and eczema. Because this would allow him to transition off of the steroid, this was super welcomed news...until we found out it involved a weekly shot. More shots! Yesterday, we drove 4 hours (2 hours to the doctor's office....and 2 hours back) so that I could learn how to give them each week. And, although, right now he prefers staying on the inhaler (what kid wouldn't?), in typical Harper fashion, he took it like a champ. Just like he does everything!

Harp never "just does" anything.  He goes all in.  At the end of the summer, when he got his schedule for 7th grade, he became so filled with anxiety he literally could not serve communion at church.  He couldn't quit crying because he was so anxious about having PE.  At some point in the summer, we received information from the school that mentioned that students who had PE first semester would not have to "dress out."  I emailed the school counselor and kindly requested Harper have first semester PE.  She quickly emailed me back, letting me know she had made the adjustment.  When I thanked her, she replied "There is so much hatred in this world and so many stresses we all face daily so if I can do just one thing to help someone out, I try my best!"  Working at a middle school, I know the challenges that come with scheduling, so the fact that she accommodated our request so easily, blew me away.  But, then the reality of having PE set in and a whole new wave of anxiety hit.  There are 2 tests they take regularly in PE and Harp is not good at either of them.  This time, there were tears, but instead of "just sucking it up", Harp asked if he could work out with a personal coach, Ms. Rebecca.  Heck yes!  So we made it happen and this kid now does strength training for 45 minutes, twice a week with her.....and runs a mile 3 times a week!  He's had enough of kids making fun of him....he's tired of lying to everyone when they ask "How'd you do on the pacer test?"  He's ready to make changes....and he's inspiring!  

And as if that isn't enough.....in his Creative Writing class, he was given an assignment to create a journal for a World War I soldier.  Rather than just write the journal, he came home and wanted to tea stain and burn paper to make it look authentic.  So....we did!  We had a lot of fun learning together, learning how to tear and crumble and tea stain paper.  Then Chris helped him burn the edges and we even bound it with twine!  No matter the grade, I'm so proud of him for not "just doing" the assignment.  He went all in.  Like he always does!  

All the Things

I'm not sure if it's Covid or if it's just the years flying by, but we are surely learning to appreciate "all the things" with our boys.  We're biased, obviously, but gosh these are pretty great kids we've got and man is this a fun time of life.  Infant years were tough (especially Warren)....toddler years, whew!  Kid years were fun.....and although we're still in middle school years, even that's been pretty good....at least better than I expected.  But right now....high school and middle school....wow are these fun times!  Exhausting.  Busy.  Difficult.  But, most definitely fun!  Don't let anyone tell you any differently.  

Neon!!

This summer, we took the "idle hands" phrase to a whole new level and scheduled a jam-packed summer!  Harper started his summer volunteering at Art Centric.  It's been fun to watch him give back to his first art studio.  After a couple of weeks of volunteering, he was ready to participate in an art camp, himself!  He created some super cool neon pieces that really come alive in his room, where we hung some fun new rope LED lights.  

WyldLife Disney Weekend

After art camp, he headed to Disney for a weekend with his WyldLife family.  Although he was super reluctant to go, he ended up having a blast!  They visited Animal Kingdom and Typhoon Lagoon.....and had club in the evenings, with other nearby WyldLife groups.  We continue to be forever grateful for those WyldLife leaders!  In fact, the leaders planned a Disney Family Reunion at our house, one evening.  And, although none of the kids were able to come, the leaders still showed up.....with pizza and chips and Throw, Throw Burrito.  Harp loved all the attention!

As if that wasn't enough for one summer, after Disney, he went straight to another full day art camp at the Polk Museum of Art...and even landed a "spot" in their local commercial!  While the Drawing class was easily his favorite last year, he didn't love it this year.  But, in his Digital Painting class, he learned how to use an iPad to create art....and he's hooked!!  In fact, since then, he used his saved money to buy his own iPad and Apple pencil and, now, easily spends hours a day drawing.  

Mission Team, Alaska

And Warren.....well, he's been quite the "jet setter" this summer.  He started his summer with our Connect Youth Ministries, doing mission work in Alaska.  And, although the travel wasn't as smooth as we had hoped, the group made the best of it and cashed in on a day in Chicago!  While in Alaska, they worked on different tasks around a community church, led Vacation Bible School, sled down glaciers, saw tons of wildlife, ate reindeer burgers and spent time together seeing such different parts of the country.  He had an amazing time and got to experience "all the things!"  The week after he got home, he participated in an Intensive Musical Theater camp at Lakeland Community Theater.  It was a good chance for him to "keep up his chops" for the school year...and he even had a little fun, playing around with different voices as Edna, from Hairspray.  

Young Life, Georgia

But, there is no rest for the weary!  He quickly went from his intensive week at LCT to volunteering during a music camp at church.  He spent the day helping with percussion and choreography, while the kids learned to put on a full blown musical in just one week!  

Shortly after that ended, he went on a trip with his YoungLife group.  They traveled to Lafayette, Georgia and had an amazing time!  They went hiking in a cave, swam to a waterfall, took turns cooking family style dinners for each other and just had fun being together.  We may never know what all really happened, but to say it bonded those kids together is an understatement.  From the minute we picked him up, all we have heard about is Georgia.  Like the WyldLife group, they quickly planned a "family reunion" at our house.  They ate pizza, swam, looked back at all their pictures and made S'Mores.  While you would think they were tired of being around one another, they've already planned their next reunion before school starts.  

Finally, we wrapped up the summer with our own Vacation Bible School!  One of our favorite times of the summer....normally.  However, this year ended a little differently than we had hoped.  After months of planning and excitement, I ended up positive with Covid and had to spend the last two days at home.  With Chris and Harper testing positive also, we quickly had to cancel our family vacation to Washington, DC.  

To say we are bummed is an understatement and makes me sound incredibly spoiled, after everything else I've just written.  Our change of plans has given me an even greater "opportunity" to appreciate "all the things."  

Bioluminescent Kayaking

• Every single part of our trip (hotel, flight, tour tickets, etc) was refunded.  We're hoping to reschedule to Spring Break (which will actually be nicer weather and allow us the chance to see the cherry blossoms).  

• Although I go back to work next week, we decided to capitalize on our time, locally.... heading to St. Pete to visit the Dali and Holocaust Museums.  Things we've wanted to do, just never made the time.  

• As a family, this summer we went bioluminescent kayaking!  What a super cool experience to see all the glowing wildlife!     

If I had to do it over again, I'm not sure I would jam pack our schedule so much, but I am grateful for the many opportunities we had this summer!  I'm grateful the boys got to experience everything they did!  Such opportunities for them!  Meanwhile, I had the opportunity to spend time taking them to and from their camps.  I will always be grateful for that time in the car with them!  

So, while the summer didn't necessarily end the way I would've wanted, I can't say I'm not grateful for "all the things"!   

Full Circle Moments

When I was younger....and today, even still....most of my closest friends were always boys.  Growing up, it was Matt and Andy.  We were like the 3 amigos!  In college, it was 2 different Craigs and Stan.  I never dated any of them; they all were like older brothers to me.  They knew me better than anyone.  They spent the night at my house.  They looked out for me.  Always.  My family loved them like their own.  Even when I started dating (which, mind you, wasn't much), my boyfriends never questioned my friendships.  I guess, subconsciously for me, it probably would've been a deal breaker, if they had. 

Earlier this week, Warren asked if he and his two best buddies (Isa and Luami) could go to dinner and a movie.  Working through the plans, we decided Chris and I would take them to Crispers for dinner before the movie...then would sit far behind them in the theater.  As it worked out, Luami was late and didn't make it til the very end of dinner.  As Chris and I looked across Crispers at Warren and Isa, we talked about how proud we were that, while most of the restaurant might've assumed they were on a date....I can almost 100% guarantee you neither of them thought of it that way.  They talked; they laughed.  They were not on their phones (except to check on Luami).  

And then when Luami joined them, and they walked over to the movie...I was reminded of my own childhood.  It was a full circle moment for me as Isa took my place...with her own Craig and Stan, in Warren and Luami (except I think Isa is more like the big sister to those two boys).  I know how much Matt, Andy, Craig (both of em) and Stan meant to me.....how much they still mean to me.  They accepted me always....they walked by my side.....they picked me up when I fell down....they listened to me....they loved me completely.  Never any strings attached. 

I'm so proud to pass the torch on to the new 3 amigos.  I love their sweet friendship, am honored to walk this road with them and can't wait to continue to see how their story unfolds.       

  

It Isn't Supposed to Be Convenient

This weekend was an inconvenience!  Harper joined the church youth group for the first (of hopefully many) Serve Saturdays.  He woke up early on a rainy, chilly Saturday morning to go pick up trash around Lake Parker.  How convenient it would've been to stay curled up, in bed, or in front of the fire, in comfy pajamas!  Instead, he rolled out of bed (albeit reluctantly), got dressed and served.  And, according to the pictures, he even had a smile on his face!  

Then Sunday, Warren participated in Fine Arts Sunday at church.  He was kind of "voluntold" that he would play congas for the Youth Choir and Kids Praise....as they both needed percussion.  It was a long morning, for sure.  He was there by 7:30, played in four services....then attended a meeting for his summer mission trip to Alaska.  And, at 1:00, we left to go to lunch.  

Saturday morning, as the youth group circled around to pray before they headed out, our Director of Missions Ministry, Forrest White, shared a few words that stayed with me long after the group prayer.  After he thanked them and told them he was proud of them for showing up, he told them that "Mission work isn't supposed to be convenient.  It isn't supposed to be easy.  You never know the difference you'll make in someone's life."  He talked with the kids about his belief that God is in every moment of mission work.  "Besides cleaning up the environment, it might be that God put you there to offer someone a smile as you're walking by.  And maybe that smile turns that person's day around." 

I've thought about Forrest's words...since he said them.  As we drove home today, we talked about the boys' weekend and the service they participated in.  We told them how proud we were of them. Warren even said he thought he might like to drum with the Youth Praise Band, on Youth Sunday, but he felt like the rehearsals were "just too much" on Sundays before Youth Group.  Since he wasn't a part of the prayer circle Saturday morning, I shared Forrest's words with him.  I told him that "service isn't supposed to be convenient."  But, it's in the inconvenience that we find the sacrifice to further God's work.  

1 Peter 4:10 says "Each of you should use whatever gifts you have received to serve others."  I'm proud of our boys.  I'm proud of our church.  I'm proud to be a part of a church that provides opportunities for our youth to serve and learn to appreciate the inconvenience as they use their gifts to serve others.