Harper D. Mayes

Harper D. Mayes.  So those that know Harper, know that the D truthfully stands for Davison, but I'm beginning to think the D stands for Determined!  When given the right motivation...this kid is some kind of determined.  We noticed it most recently with football.  Our smart, funny, creative, non-athletic kid gave up going to get pizza for playing football...all for a bag of Skittles.  Had an asthma attack.....to get the bag of Skittles.

That same smart, funny, creative, non-athletic kid surprised us again this morning!  His amazingly brilliant teacher has a class challenge.  Whoever earns his/her reading goal first in the nine weeks, earns lunch of his/her choice. Ummmmm, did you catch that?  You earn F-O-O-D!  Last nine weeks, he tied with one other girl...so they both earned the lunch.  But, this time...Harper was in it to win it!  He came home yesterday telling us that this girl just needed one more point to earn her goal, but he was bound and determined not to let that happen.  With that, he read for one hour....reading, begging us to ask him questions to make sure he knew the books and would pass the tests, and asking us to read with him.  Finally, after an hour, he reluctantly went to bed.

Then, the strangest, craziest, most amazing thing happened.  I heard his bedroom door open this morning around 5:30am.  I listened as he went to the bathroom and then tiptoed into our room.  I lifted the covers and motioned for him to crawl in bed with us, to which he replied "No, mom, I want to get up and read, but could you help me get dressed quickly?"  Whaaaaaaa???  There's a difference between determination and just plain crazy!  It was 5:30 in the morning!  "Oh wow buddy.  That's awesome!  Daddy can help you get dressed."  So, at 5:30 in the morning, Chris dragged himself out of bed to help Harper get dressed quickly so he could finish reading.  

When the rest of us got up at 6:00, we found Harper sitting in the family room, reading quietly.  When Warren joined him for breakfast, we found Harper reading quietly as he ate his grits.  And this morning, as we received email after email that he had taken and passed all of his tests, we found Harper.....first one in his class to earn his reading goal!  

Crazy....yes!  Determined.....heck yes!  

My Story

By now, many of you reading already know that I've recently been diagnosed with Lupus.  I'm learning a "new norm".  But, more importantly, I'm learning about my story.  

The day before my initial appointment, I sat in church listening to Pastor David's sermon on "The Power of Your Story".  As I sat there, I listened thinking "Gosh...I grew up in the church.  I've never really strayed.  I don't have a big 'ah ha' date where I became a Christian.  I don't really have much of a story."  HA!  Little did I know that my story was being written as I sat there.  

The following day I had my first appointment, followed by a ton of bloodwork and other tests.  Because the diagnosis wasn't confirmed yet, I didn't tell many people about what was going on.  But Tuesday morning, I did tell a handful of close friends, including some of my Bible study "sisters".  Tuesday night, those friends showed up at my door to offer a prayer circle over me.  Those who know me well, know I am not a "hugger"....so the thought of a group of people circling around me and laying hands on me freaked me out a bit.  But....not only was I humbled beyond words, I was moved to tears.  And when they left, it dawned on me...... "This.....this is my story!  I have a story now!"  I felt so at peace with whatever the doctor had to tell me in the coming weeks.

Fast forward four weeks to Monday.  With Chris by my side, I listened as the doctor told me (in very direct terms) "You have Lupus."  Because the diagnosis had not been final until that day, I did not allow myself to research much as I was afraid of what I would read.  So, as I sat there, I really didn't even know what all that diagnosis meant.  But, what I did know, was that I would have a "new norm" and a huge responsibility in my diagnosis.  I stand up on stage, help lead worship and serve in a lot of other “visible” ways at church.  As people find out about this, they’re going to look to me and watch how I handle it.  Truth is….I’m totally fine with it.  I feel good; I know God’s got this.  This is part of my story!  What a witness I’ll be able to be to so many.  And that’s a big responsibility.  If people can see that because of God’s perfect peace, I’m able to be at peace during “rough waters”….won’t they want that same peace?

And, as a side note.....I have always paid close attention to the lyrics of songs.  Lyrics speak to me.  Somehow, they seem to "hit" me at just the right time.  Consequently, I've adopted Ryan Stevenson's song Eye of the Storm as my theme song during these "rough waters."  My boys even sing it in the car with me.  (Well, Harper sings; Warren drums.)  And, the morning after my friends prayed over me, as I got in the car to head to work, Big Daddy's Weave's song My Story just "happened" to be on the radio.  So, I don't believe for one minute that God's hand is not in my story, right now....and always.

In any case, for those of you reading who didn't know what was going on, please know that I feel good….I don’t “feel” like I have anything as serious as what you read.  So, the way I see it....if my medication can help whatever is going on internally....I'm good to go! Bring on the rest of my story!  God's got this!

Blessed Beyond Belief

We have a friend who signs all his emails with "Blessed Beyond Belief."  And while Chris and I have never for once taken for granted anything that we have, it wasn't until just recently that I really understood what our friend meant.

Another good friend of mine and her children were at our house over the summer.  While playing in the backyard, she made the comment, after seeing our half painted back of the house, that "Maybe the Mayes family isn't as perfect as she thought."  Trust me when I say we are far, far, far from perfect.  And in many more ways than just the paint on our house.  But, it was this same friend whose daughter reminded me that "We are not perfect. And we never will be."  While we're far from perfect....we are most definitely blessed beyond belief.

We have two incredible boys, who continually amaze us in their own individual ways.  Warren is naturally athletic.  He played flag football for the first time last spring and loved it thanks to his three amazing coaches!  He played his final two games and walked away with an undefeated season and some pretty unbelievable plays!  While most people would consider themselves blessed with the athleticism, Warren not only excels on the field, but he's a great student as well, earning straight A's all year!  He was chosen to be a tour guide to incoming kindergartners at his school's Kindergarten Discovery Day last year.  And was also chosen to be a principal's helper (aka Hollen Helper) this year.

Meanwhile, Harper held his own in Kindergarten, also making straight A's all year.  And while he hasn't quite found his niche in hobbies yet, his personality has a tendency to naturally capture an audience.  He was also selected to participate in Kindergarten Discovery Day (as a "model" in the fashion show).  And was one of two kindergartners interviewed by a federal grant review team, talking about what he learned last year.  He is a smart kid, with an amazing vocabulary and the ability to hold a conversation with nearly anyone.  (When asked, by the federal grant reviewer, what he would add to his school...he responded "A pool and a hot tub.")  He has never met a stranger.  He is confident and incredibly hilarious and is able to bring a smile to nearly everyone's face.

As I told our incredible football coaches who have now become our friends, Galatians 6:9 says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  And so, as we have already been "blessed beyond belief", we will continue doing good.

TGIF ... or not?

You know when you get a phone call and your heart just skips a beat?  That's what mine did today when I saw Harper's teacher calling me at 2:12pm.  But, what a great surprise....followed by sheer confusion....when I heard Harper's sweet voice say "Hi mommy!"  When I said "Hi" back.....crickets???  Until his rockstar teacher got on the phone and very hurriedly said "Hey Kim, it's Mrs. Portwood.  We just wanted to call and tell you that Harper is the first boy in our class to make his AR goal this nine weeks.  And, his class wants to tell you something also."  What a community she's built in that classroom....to hear everyone yell "YAY!"....cheering for my Harper!

So, when Harper got off the bus, he was met with great congratulations and high fives!  Chris stopped by the school to pick up Warren and head to the LHS game, while Harper and I loaded up to go home.  We got in the car and I said "Whew!  TGIF!  Let the weekend begin!"  And Harper just responded "Ehhhh, I kinda don't think so.  I love school!"    

Cabin 6-B

On the road

In starting the Carol Marsh Kids 2 Camp 5K at our church, I've worked really hard over the past four years to make sure that our church has enough money to help send all kids to camp.   We know camp is life changing.  And, although I was never a camper and never "on team"....I experienced the life changes through Chris.  But, all that to say....it never really dawned on me that I'd be sending our own son to camp.  So, that time has come.  Yesterday, we packed up to drop Warren off at the Warren W. Willis Camp in Leesburg, FL.

Those who know me well, can only imagine the struggles I had with this packing.  Yes, camp sent a great list of "What to Pack" and I had received some great suggestions from friends, but for some reason, that didn't make it any easier.  With my list in hand, I carefully packed each outfit (with Chris saying "Honey, you know he's gonna be hot, sweaty and stinky in everything he wears, right?") in a Zip-Loc bag.  Then the struggle became "Do I label the bag with the day?  Or just let him go with it?"  After conferring with Chris (who has much more camp experience than I), we compromised....I decided to let Warren "just go with it" with his daily outfits, but I did label some of the extra things that we were to send (like "Plastic bag to put wet suit in").  (In this specific case, it dawned on me later that, because I packed everything in Zip-Loc bags, he would have more than enough "plastic bags to put wet suits in".)  Oh well!  Better to be safe, than sorry, right?

So, after packing and repacking, and texting sweet, patient friends with a million ridiculous questions, and having friends and family tell me "You're overthinking this.".....I was ready for Chris to double check the duffle bag!  We checked and rechecked and were certain we had everything.....zip it up!

Since check-in was Monday, we had the grandmothers over Sunday night for the "last supper" which, by request, was Harriet's Johnny Marzetti (mac-n-cheese, hamburger meat and spaghetti sauce) and brownie sundaes.  Monday, before we pulled out of town, we stopped at Fred's for lunch.  Since I had no idea what he would be eating during the week, I had to make sure he had at least two good meals before he left.

We made it!

And, I'll be honest....arriving at camp was um, overwhelming, to say the least.  The lodge was packed with kids...and noise!  I knew Registration opened at 2:00, but nowhere did any of my "camp materials" say the doors opened at 1:00.  (and trust me, I read everything.....many times)  So, we waited for a bit.....lots of nervous excitement, while Warren was everything, but, hanging on us.  And while waiting for so long during Registration was kinda rough, it was comforting to see so many people from our church!

Happy Camper

Unpacking

Once we finished Registration, we headed to our cabin.  We were the first ones there, so Warren was able to choose his bunk.  After testing several out, and practicing going up and down the ladder, he chose a top bunk....the one closest to the bathroom.  We brought in his carefully packed duffle bag and watched him unpack and get settled in as the other boys slowly trickled in.  First Nathan, then Jack, then Tobin.  Even Warren's flag football buddy, Tyler, was in his cabin!  Again, my mind was comforted as I saw all our FUMC boys coming together in one cabin!  Then, in what seemed to be no time at all, one of the counselors (God bless those guys) came in and said "Parents, we're having our cabin orientation at 4:00, so we need to ask you to leave by 3:45."  WHAT???  Boy that time flew!  So, we quickly gave Warren a kiss and a hug and said our goodbyes.  Not the goodbye I had prepared for, but it all happened so quickly.....I didn't even have time for tears!  Funny how God orchestrates that, isn't it?

FUMC friends

The boys of cabin 6-B

    

Free slurpees!

Harry Potter and popcorn

Throughout the afternoon, Harper was a trooper!  He waited with us, walked around with us, and even carried stuff for us.  I've felt badly for him, since Warren has gotten so much attention with "this camp thing"....Warren got a new camera and a new sleeping bag, etc. So, as we were leaving, we promised him we'd stop by 7-11 for a free slurpee!   But, on the way home....I realized, he seemed to be soaking up this "only child" thing.  In fact, after our slurpees, Chris and I were talking about something we needed to do that day and Harper chimed in with "Um, guys....this is MY week!"  Since it was "HIS week"....we let him plan our first night without Warren.  He picked pizza from Jet's (he wanted a BLT, minus the L and T) and Harry Potter.  He has been waiting to watch Harry Potter this week, because Warren doesn't like to watch them.  So, we picked up our pizza on the way home, settled in and watched Harry Potter.  (And, yes, I was definitely watching the movie.....but I couldn't help but check my phone.....as our Director of Children's Ministries snuck a picture of our sweet boys after the first night of Chapel.)  Then off to bed for Night 1, which I'm sure (or at least I hope) was 100 times more difficult for me, than for Warren.  And, since Harper and Chris both fell asleep easily, I'm guessing it wasn't difficult on either of them.

First night of chapel

But, as I laid down to go to sleep, I started thinking all the "What Ifs" that us moms think.  "What if I should've packed a fitted sheet for under his sleeping bag?"  "What if he pees in his bed tonight?"  "What if he starts crying?"  "What if the other moms send an email for them to get tomorrow?  Will he feel left out if he doesn't get one?"  "What if he wants this Cabbage Patch doll that we were too embarrassed for him to take?"  "We didn't send his Melatonin.  What if he can't fall asleep?  At least Jack didn't have Melatonin either."  While Warren might not have had Melatonin, I sure as heck did...and finally fell asleep around 2am.

Yes, I woke up and immediately logged on to the camp website to send him an email.  Yes, I'm refreshing that website every 5 minutes to check for photos.  Yes, I have our close friends and family sending him letters throughout the week.  So, I'm sure he is having an amazing time.  And, I know this is all so much harder on me, than it is on him!  It is such a blessing knowing he is surrounded by so many FUMC people who know him and are watching out for him.  Here's to a great week...excuse me while I go refresh that website!

Miracle Worker

The term "Miracle Worker" is not a term we use lightly.  In fact, the only person I think we may have "deemed" worthy of that title might be our pediatrician....until now.  Harper is perhaps the pickiest eater we have ever come across.  He will not touch a vegetable...literally, won't touch it.  He will pick out the smallest bit of green, red, or yellow virtually unseen to the naked eye.  He is very, very selective on his fruits...and even then, will barely eat any.  Anyone who knows Harper, knows this to be true....even his pediatrician!

His Kindergarten class is currently completing a unit on Space.  They've learned that it costs between $7,000-$10,000 to send one pound up into space.  It's for this reason that the astronauts travel with dehydrated foods.  So, to really "nibble" on this piece of learning, Harper's teacher, Mrs. Joyner, brought in a food dehydrator.  For the past couple of weeks, they've been experimenting with dehydrating different fruits.  They've made dehydrated apples, bananas and pineapples.

This past weekend, we talked with Harper about making healthier food choices.  We told him that he must at least take one bite of whatever vegetable (or various fruit) we have at dinner.  The other night we had bananas and blueberries.  Sticking to our word, we told Harper he had to at least eat one blueberry.  (He already likes bananas, so that wasn't an option.)  After Warren was excused, we sat for over an hour, listening to Harper cry over one stinkin' blueberry.  "Can't you just give me a pass since I tried the apples at school today?"  So, after spending his evening crying over his plate, it quickly became bath and bed time.  He went to bed mad and in tears.  And though I stayed in his room and rubbed his back, he surely did not want me there.  He covered himself up under his bedspread and through his tears kept yelling "Weave me awone."  Then at one point, he came out from under the covers and said "But mommy, can't you and daddy just show me some grace?"  To which I replied, "Harper, buddy....mommy and daddy have shown you grace for the last six years."

Skip ahead a couple of days to today.  I got a text this morning from Mrs. Joyner:
Teacher:  He didn't like it, but he tried a banana chip today!
Teacher:  But he wanted to try an apple chip again and LIKED IT!
Teacher:  I started jumping around!
Teacher:  
Teacher:  Sorry, he just asked for the pineapple and LOVED IT!
Teacher:  Pardon my French.
Teacher:  Asked for seconds!
Teacher:  He's about eaten half the jar of dried pineapple.
Teacher:  Straight up pineapple, no sugar added nothing.
Teacher:  He just asked for a to go bag.
Teacher:  Someone just asked him to share and he zipped it up and hid it.
Teacher:  My day is seriously made!  I'm so proud of him!

So as if this conversation (which was really more of a one-way conversation) wasn't enough to excite us, the first thing Harper said when he walked into my office this afternoon was not...."Mom, can I have some M-n-Ms?"  Instead, it was "Man, I can finally have the rest of my pineapple!"  And sure enough...he pulled out his to go bag!

Then, to end our very successful day, tonight at dinner we had pulled chicken sandwiches, apples, and green beans with mushrooms.  He, of course, had to try at least one bite of either the mushrooms or the green beans.  As soon as Chris and Warren finished, they went outside to play and work in the yard.  So, Harper and I sat while he very strategically planned his one bite.  And low and behold....it wasn't even 10 minutes before he tried it.  He didn't like it and, in fact, ended up spitting it out....but he tried it!  Mrs. Joyner.....Miracles never cease!