The day before my initial appointment, I sat in church listening to Pastor David's sermon on "The Power of Your Story". As I sat there, I listened thinking "Gosh...I grew up in the church. I've never really strayed. I don't have a big 'ah ha' date where I became a Christian. I don't really have much of a story." HA! Little did I know that my story was being written as I sat there.
The following day I had my first appointment, followed by a ton of bloodwork and other tests. Because the diagnosis wasn't confirmed yet, I didn't tell many people about what was going on. But Tuesday morning, I did tell a handful of close friends, including some of my Bible study "sisters". Tuesday night, those friends showed up at my door to offer a prayer circle over me. Those who know me well, know I am not a "hugger"....so the thought of a group of people circling around me and laying hands on me freaked me out a bit. But....not only was I humbled beyond words, I was moved to tears. And when they left, it dawned on me...... "This.....this is my story! I have a story now!" I felt so at peace with whatever the doctor had to tell me in the coming weeks.
Fast forward four weeks to Monday. With Chris by my side, I listened as the doctor told me (in very direct terms) "You have Lupus." Because the diagnosis had not been final until that day, I did not allow myself to research much as I was afraid of what I would read. So, as I sat there, I really didn't even know what all that diagnosis meant. But, what I did know, was that I would have a "new norm" and a huge responsibility in my diagnosis. I stand up on stage, help lead worship and serve in a lot of other “visible” ways at church. As people find out about this, they’re going to look to me and watch how I handle it. Truth is….I’m totally fine with it. I feel good; I know God’s got this. This is part of my story! What a witness I’ll be able to be to so many. And that’s a big responsibility. If people can see that because of God’s perfect peace, I’m able to be at peace during “rough waters”….won’t they want that same peace?
And, as a side note.....I have always paid close attention to the lyrics of songs. Lyrics speak to me. Somehow, they seem to "hit" me at just the right time. Consequently, I've adopted Ryan Stevenson's song Eye of the Storm as my theme song during these "rough waters." My boys even sing it in the car with me. (Well, Harper sings; Warren drums.) And, the morning after my friends prayed over me, as I got in the car to head to work, Big Daddy's Weave's song My Story just "happened" to be on the radio. So, I don't believe for one minute that God's hand is not in my story, right now....and always.
In any case, for those of you reading who didn't know what was going on, please know that I feel good….I don’t “feel” like I have anything as serious as what you read. So, the way I see it....if my medication can help whatever is going on internally....I'm good to go! Bring on the rest of my story! God's got this!
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