All That Glitters Ain't Gold

They say "All that glitters is gold"...don't they?  Sadly, our "glitter" isn't so gold tonight.  

My boys have had to deal with a lot of death at their young ages.  And, tonight, is no exception.  As I tucked Warren in bed, he asked in a bit of a panic, "Mom, would you please clean Glitter's bowl tonight?"  Because we've been "helping" him learn to be more responsible...(it has nothing to do with me being tired and wanting to watch Dancing with the Stars), I told him "No, Warren.  Remind me this weekend and I can help you clean it then."  He popped out of bed and argued "Then, would you at least feed Glitter?  I haven't fed him in like two weeks, Mom."  So, as Warren climbed back into bed, I sprinkled a pinch of food into Glitter's bowl.  But, when Glitter didn't budget, I got a bit worried.  I told Warren I was going to take Glitter's bowl out into the family room so I could watch him a bit.  

Not having much Beta fish experience, I immediately took Glitter out to the family room and ran to get Chris.  We spent the next 30 minutes researching sick Beta fish and "How do you know your Beta fish is dying?"  We read several different articles and believe it or not, even watched several videos.  After comparing Glitter's state to what we saw online, we determined Glitter might possibly have bladder disease.  So, what else do you do with a Beta fish with bladder disease but put him in a glass with some frozen peas.  Duh!  Supposedly, the fish will nibble on the peas which will help rid his bladder of the disease.  So we sat, watching Glitter lay next to the peas.  

Rather than watch the tragedy unfolding in my kitchen, I decided to go ahead and get my bath.  As I sat in the bathtub, Warren came in and asked if he could climb in our bed and go to sleep, because he couldn't sleep in his own bed.  I decided now was just as good a time as any to break the news.  So I said "Warren, buddy...I think Glitter might be pretty sick.  I'm not sure she's going to make it."  Warren just looked me and paused for just a second.  Then, as I prepared myself for the tears that were sure to follow, Warren looked at me so solemnly and said "But, is that a yes or no for your bed?"           

We Love Harper

At the end of last school year, Harper started experiencing some major anxiety.  He cried most nights, cried most mornings because he didn't want to go to school.  Totally unlike our normal Harper, who was laid back and just rolled with the punches.  After lots of probing, we finally discovered this anxiety was due to his SMAD (Subtraction, Multiplication, Addition and Division) timed math tests.  You see, Harper and two of his friends were pulled into the gifted math class.  His two friends had passed enough tests to earn a medallion at the end of the year awards, but Harper, although he was working on the third grade tests while he was only in first grade, was still one test away from the medallion.  We walked a fine line between not putting pressure on him, but still encouraging him to do his best.  But the pressure from his peers was just too much.  

When I mentioned this to his new 2nd grade teacher at Orientation, she encouraged us to celebrate his effort and not put any pressure on him.  She reminded us that the tests were not for a grade and even said she would make SMAD tests unannounced, so he wouldn't know when they would be.  And after all of that, his first SMAD test was still met with much anxiety.  When he got home, he handed me a crumble up paper and told me he only finished 70 of the 100 problems.  (And while that doesn't seem terrible, students don't pass a level until they earn a perfect 100%.)  I decided to take advantage of the situation and sat him down on the couch for a little heart to heart.  I reminded him that Chris and I didn't expect him to pass every single time, we just wanted him to do his best.  And with that, he lifted his sad little eyes, looked up and said "Then why do you only hang the papers that have 100s on the fridge?"    Wow!  What an eye opening statement!  Like most parents, we hang the boys' SMAD tests up when they pass.  The boys never even pay attention to the refrigerator...or so I thought.  I just had no idea how much they paid attention to something so minor...or so I thought.  So, you better believe that 70% went up on the fridge, immediately!  Lesson learned!

Fast forward a week or so.  At 2:50pm on Thursday afternoon, I received a phone call on my cell phone, from a number I didn't recognize.  I went ahead and answered to hear, "Mrs. Mayes, this is Mrs. Towles, Harper's 2nd grade teacher."  (Of course my heart stopped as I started thinking the worst.)  "Everything is fine.  But as our class was sitting here at the end of the day, we started thinking about how much we love Harper.  So, we made a list and everyone in our class told me why they love Harper.  And, if it's ok with you, if you have time, I'd like to read that list to you.  Do you have a minute?"  Through my tears, I stumbled out a "Yes, of course."  With that, she read through everything Harper's friends thought about him and finished by saying "And, our class has one more thing to say."  At that point, she turned her phone around to the whole class who yelled out "WE LOVE HARPER!"  WOW!  What a way to build community and build my little beaten man back up!  

The Calm Before the Storm

Most of you reading this know that during the fall, we spend our Friday nights at Bryant Stadium, cheering on the Dreadnaughts...but more importantly, supporting the band....and even more important than that, the drumline.  Chris is in his 19th year of working with the drumline, which translates to 15 years of Friday night "date nights" at the football games.  So, to say I've loved every minute would be a lie.  There have certainly been many (many, many, many) Friday nights where I dreaded going.  But, all in all, it's really become a fun family tradition for us now that the boys are old enough to enjoy it...which, in turn, means mommy can enjoy it.

But, we don't "enjoy" the game as most fans do.  When we go, we don't sit down...we stand in the north end zone, in front of the band, where Chris can keep up with the game and keep his eye on his drum kids.  So, the boys spend the whole game on the sideline or in the end zone...something most kids don't ever get a chance to do.  In fact, I can remember when I was Warren's age...sitting up in those same bleachers on Friday nights.  I used to think the football players, cheerleaders and band kids were so cool getting to be on that big field.  And I remember watching the "big kids" play football and hang out behind the bleachers.  

Fast forward 20 years.  Warren is now one of those "big kids."  This week, he brought his friend, Lincoln, to the game.  (Harper has never mentioned bringing a friend, but we sure are blessed that Warren has chosen friends who get along so well with him, so he is never left out.)

In any case, Chris and the boys arrived at the stadium in time for the band rehearsal (2 1/2 hours before kickoff)...which meant the boys got to play on the field!  Warren and Lincoln had fun pretending to be Dreanaughts, while Harper was off to the side, being Harper.  Little did we know this was the calm before the storm.  

Right after pregame, we got hit with a huge storm...literally.  Terrible lightning, rain and wind.  We corralled the kids over to the baseball stadium where we sat in the bleachers, under cover.  As the boys sat, I eavesdropped into their conversation only to hear the sweetest voices talking about why we have hurricanes and tornadoes.  I heard one of the boys ask "Why did God even create them?"  To which Warren replied, "Well, God already flooded the whole Earth once and He promised he wouldn't do it again."  And Lincoln said "Ya, then he drew that promise with a rainbow.  So he won't flood the whole Earth again."  

And while I thought that would've been comforting, apparently Harper didn't "buy it".  He got very scared and wanted to "hide" under the desk.  So all three boys crammed under the desk, in their ponchos.  To take their mind off of the storm, Chris gave them his cell phone to watch a movie.  And suddenly, my big boys didn't seem so big anymore.