Update: Fall Dance

Well, while things don't always go as planned, they always go according to a greater plan! When I was a teenager in youth group at First Presbyterian, at the end of confirmation, our youth pastor (Tim Rice, at the time) "presented us" with an individual scripture that he picked for each of us. Mine was 1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." Since that day, this verse has been my favorite.  It is my "go to" verse any time the road in front of me seems bumpy.  

Last night was the Harrison Fall Dance and Warren's first "date".  He was so excited, so nervous.  We all were!  We met up with Brooke, her family, and the other two "kids" at Florida Southern for pictures.  While the introductions were easy, the rest of the time was awkward.  When we walked to the "photo spot", Warren was greeted by a big cheer from the senior Musical Theatre kids.  We got a few pictures and then Warren presented Brooke's corsage to her.  Watching them fumble through, was adorably perfect.  These two both seemed equally naive, which made the whole experience even more fun (for us).  Luckily, we were all able to laugh about it.

Chris and I then dropped them all off at the dance and headed to dinner....to nervously kill time for the next 2.5 hours. But, about 2 hours in, I got a text from Warren that said he just wanted to go home.  As it turns out, apparently this "little date" was a big deal to their group of friends, and all eyes were on them, as they put the pressure on Warren to "make his move" and hold her hand before the night was over....which Warren was not yet comfortable with.  And while he kept telling his friends to stop, because he "didn't like her like that"....that didn't seem to be good enough to stop his friends.  So, unfortunately, he was too uncomfortable to be around her too much.  After the dance, we picked the kids up and took them to get ice cream....which seemed to be much more enjoyable, but as soon as we dropped Brooke off....the floodgates opened and Warren just sat in the car, bawling.  

Their night most definitely didn't go as they planned, but we trust that it is all a part of the plan.  And while our hearts broke last night, with theirs, Chris and I are so proud of Warren.  After meeting her, we are super proud of his taste in character.  We are proud that he knows what he is and isn't comfortable with, though he still has a ways to go in learning act within those boundaries.  And, we are beyond proud that he stood his ground.  He "overcame them, because the one who is in Warren is greater than the one who is in the world."    

Listen Earnestly to the Little Things

If there is one thing I could tell parents with young children, it's "Listen earnestly to the little things."  In fact, I'm fairly certain I've written about it already.  As my boys grow up, I have been incredibly intentional about always, always "listening earnestly to the little things."  Notice the emphasis on earnestly.  

When they have things to tell me, nothing is more important at that moment.  I stop what I'm doing.  I put my phone down.  I make eye contact and I listen.  I listen earnestly.

It's something I've done since they were little, when they had to tell me about the roach on the bathroom floor.  Or the time when they had to tell me that Bryan was picking his nose on the carpet.  Now, that listening earnestly is paying off, because now they are starting to tell me "the big stuff."    

When I picked Warren up from school Thursday, he jumped in the car and I immediately started to share something exciting about my day.  He interrupted me and said "ok, mom, but when you're finished, I need to talk to you about something kind of big.  Not bad.  But kind of big."  So, I quickly wrapped up my story and let him share.  He had a huge smile, then covered his face with his hands and in one breath said "So, this is really awkward and embarrassing, mom.  Like, I don't know how you and dad feel about dating and all that stuff.  But, there's this girl that I'm kind of interested in and I think she might be interested in me, too.  And I think I'd like to ask her to go to the Fall Dance with me."  (It's a good thing his hands were covering his face, because I'm 100% sure after I picked up my jaw off the floor, I had a smile bigger than his.....but I had to "play it cool.")  I told him I would really need some time to digest this, because a) I didn't know the girl or her family and b) I had no clue how this stuff works....yet.  But, I also told him that I trusted his judgement...to which he replied, "Mom, she's a good girl. You would definitely approve of her."   

So, the rest of the car ride home we talked about what "kids these days" do to ask someone to Homecoming (Harrison doesn't technically have a Homecoming dance, but the Fall Dance is their version.)  He didn't want to do anything huge that drew a lot of attention to it, but he still wanted to let her know that he put some thought into it.  

When we got home, we completely dropped the subject, because Harper was home and....well, you can imagine the teasing that would come along with that.  So, that gave me a chance to first text Chris and let him know how our world was getting ready to change.  Followed by texts to my best friend and one of the Harrison teachers, also a dear friend of mine....asking her "What the heck do we do?"  

Meanwhile, Warren got a phone call from his best friend, who wanted to brainstorm ideas with him.  So Warren went on the back patio (where Harper couldn't hear) and he and his bestie talked through all kinds of ideas.  We all finally agreed that the best route would be a small gift, with a card.  With a bit of research, Warren found out her favorite candies and we made a quick trip to Walgreens to get M-n-Ms, Kit Kats and Sour Patch Kids....only to find out, once we got home, that he read the list wrong and it was, instead Tic Taks (not Kit Kats).  So, one more quick trip to Walgreens and he was ready.  He included a card that read "It would be really 'sweet' if you would go to the fall dance with me."  

The fear of rejection is real.  So that no one would know, he carefully tucked it inside his backpack, with hopes of catching her at her locker to ask.  I sent him off to school and asked that he just text me something to let me know how it went.  

Because Harper and Chris were heading off on a youth retreat, we were meeting at the church and Warren was to walk there, after rehearsal.  Finally, at 4:44pm, I received the text!

Shortly after, he and Luami (his best friend, who brainstormed ideas with him the night before) walked up, with Luami yelling "SHE SAID YES!  SHE SAID YES!" (I wish you could have seen Harper's eyes, in that moment!)  

As it turns out, Brooke is the Jane to Warren's Michael in their Harrison production of Mary Poppins.  And, little did I know, until I connected with Brooke's mom (which I did quickly Friday night), that apparently the department had been silently cheering them on.  So, although Warren had hoped to ask Brooke privately, that was not an option....as seen in the video footage that she sent me.  (You'll have to watch quickly, because it's just short of a "hit and run".)    

Nonetheless, I am proud of the kids he has chosen to surround himself with.  I'm proud of the ones he lets into his circle and considers friends.  I love the support they offer one another.  And so far, I'm proud of the type of girl he seems to be interested in.  I'm excited that he's starting to experience "all the things" and I'm so grateful that we have a relationship where he talks to me about it all.  I'm 100% glad I made a point (years ago) to "Listen earnestly to the little things"......because it's time for the big things!  

Today's Hero

New addition to our decor

That smile.....

Today, this kid is my hero. On top of severe environmental allergies and eczema, requiring double allergy shots every 3 weeks.....a sinus surgery a year ago......Harper was diagnosed with something called Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EOE). EOE is a chronic disorder of the digestive system in which large numbers of a particular type of white blood cells (called eosinophils) are present in the esophagus. For Harper, it results in certain foods getting stuck in his esophagus. As a result, those who know him, know that he's had too many endoscopies to count. For the past couple of years, he's been on a regiment of Omeprazole and Flovent (a steroid inhaler). However, the FDA just approved a medication called Dupixent for children over 12, to treat EOE and eczema. Because this would allow him to transition off of the steroid, this was super welcomed news...until we found out it involved a weekly shot. More shots! Yesterday, we drove 4 hours (2 hours to the doctor's office....and 2 hours back) so that I could learn how to give them each week. And, although, right now he prefers staying on the inhaler (what kid wouldn't?), in typical Harper fashion, he took it like a champ. Just like he does everything!

Harp never "just does" anything.  He goes all in.  At the end of the summer, when he got his schedule for 7th grade, he became so filled with anxiety he literally could not serve communion at church.  He couldn't quit crying because he was so anxious about having PE.  At some point in the summer, we received information from the school that mentioned that students who had PE first semester would not have to "dress out."  I emailed the school counselor and kindly requested Harper have first semester PE.  She quickly emailed me back, letting me know she had made the adjustment.  When I thanked her, she replied "There is so much hatred in this world and so many stresses we all face daily so if I can do just one thing to help someone out, I try my best!"  Working at a middle school, I know the challenges that come with scheduling, so the fact that she accommodated our request so easily, blew me away.  But, then the reality of having PE set in and a whole new wave of anxiety hit.  There are 2 tests they take regularly in PE and Harp is not good at either of them.  This time, there were tears, but instead of "just sucking it up", Harp asked if he could work out with a personal coach, Ms. Rebecca.  Heck yes!  So we made it happen and this kid now does strength training for 45 minutes, twice a week with her.....and runs a mile 3 times a week!  He's had enough of kids making fun of him....he's tired of lying to everyone when they ask "How'd you do on the pacer test?"  He's ready to make changes....and he's inspiring!  

And as if that isn't enough.....in his Creative Writing class, he was given an assignment to create a journal for a World War I soldier.  Rather than just write the journal, he came home and wanted to tea stain and burn paper to make it look authentic.  So....we did!  We had a lot of fun learning together, learning how to tear and crumble and tea stain paper.  Then Chris helped him burn the edges and we even bound it with twine!  No matter the grade, I'm so proud of him for not "just doing" the assignment.  He went all in.  Like he always does!