We Love Harper

At the end of last school year, Harper started experiencing some major anxiety.  He cried most nights, cried most mornings because he didn't want to go to school.  Totally unlike our normal Harper, who was laid back and just rolled with the punches.  After lots of probing, we finally discovered this anxiety was due to his SMAD (Subtraction, Multiplication, Addition and Division) timed math tests.  You see, Harper and two of his friends were pulled into the gifted math class.  His two friends had passed enough tests to earn a medallion at the end of the year awards, but Harper, although he was working on the third grade tests while he was only in first grade, was still one test away from the medallion.  We walked a fine line between not putting pressure on him, but still encouraging him to do his best.  But the pressure from his peers was just too much.  

When I mentioned this to his new 2nd grade teacher at Orientation, she encouraged us to celebrate his effort and not put any pressure on him.  She reminded us that the tests were not for a grade and even said she would make SMAD tests unannounced, so he wouldn't know when they would be.  And after all of that, his first SMAD test was still met with much anxiety.  When he got home, he handed me a crumble up paper and told me he only finished 70 of the 100 problems.  (And while that doesn't seem terrible, students don't pass a level until they earn a perfect 100%.)  I decided to take advantage of the situation and sat him down on the couch for a little heart to heart.  I reminded him that Chris and I didn't expect him to pass every single time, we just wanted him to do his best.  And with that, he lifted his sad little eyes, looked up and said "Then why do you only hang the papers that have 100s on the fridge?"    Wow!  What an eye opening statement!  Like most parents, we hang the boys' SMAD tests up when they pass.  The boys never even pay attention to the refrigerator...or so I thought.  I just had no idea how much they paid attention to something so minor...or so I thought.  So, you better believe that 70% went up on the fridge, immediately!  Lesson learned!

Fast forward a week or so.  At 2:50pm on Thursday afternoon, I received a phone call on my cell phone, from a number I didn't recognize.  I went ahead and answered to hear, "Mrs. Mayes, this is Mrs. Towles, Harper's 2nd grade teacher."  (Of course my heart stopped as I started thinking the worst.)  "Everything is fine.  But as our class was sitting here at the end of the day, we started thinking about how much we love Harper.  So, we made a list and everyone in our class told me why they love Harper.  And, if it's ok with you, if you have time, I'd like to read that list to you.  Do you have a minute?"  Through my tears, I stumbled out a "Yes, of course."  With that, she read through everything Harper's friends thought about him and finished by saying "And, our class has one more thing to say."  At that point, she turned her phone around to the whole class who yelled out "WE LOVE HARPER!"  WOW!  What a way to build community and build my little beaten man back up!